I’m not suffering

I’m not suffering,

I’m just annoying

To people who want to give me more grief

Than I have already had.

They tell me to shut up

About double-standards they like to promote as valid opinions,

Saying, if I don’t modify my ways to fit with my gender,

They can shut me up

And have me tortured, or at least, they hint at that,

Without actually being the villain enough

To finish me that way, just curb

Through a look or by saying,

That certain words or phrases are a trigger

To not listen properly,

Or some faff of an excuse for prejudice to disclude,

Vilify, label and alienate.

They smile as they think

How they can get me down,

To their heel hobble mannerisms.

I can’t be given a scholarship

For a disability I don’t have,

When I have get-up-and-go ability,

Now that I’m not tied down

With track-marks on my butt

From psychiatrists’ disabling fortnightly injections,

That had all I’m meant to be and do

Flushed down by their pooh-pooh pulpit.

Society is very pushy,

But once you’ve been tortured in the community’s name,

You fear your own expression,

You fear your own perseverance,

Try to never push back, apologise way too readily…

You rarely express needs, wants,

Certainly fear asking for decency, with a forthright tone,

Lest you be considered ‘aggressive’.

I am not suffering,

So I want to have my say

About what is happening,

What has happened

And what should not be happening.

I will not be told some nonsense

From a prejudiced mouth

That wants keep brutal control 

Of language and opinions.

I have to survive more than that,

Otherwise I am being held back,

Humanity is being held back

And suffering as a result.